Comments on the Covenant
by perfectjersey
Summary: used to be a pseudocommentary, but now its so much more! not really, but there's another chapter of random stuff! read and be amazed!
1. The Covenantary

Chase did, in fact, "go at it with that guy." They went at it all night long (later that night Aaron Abbott passed out from exhaustion.)

The reason why Gorman isn't the Exposition Fairy is because Caleb's mom fought him for it (he lost when she threw thirty-year-old Scotch on him and set it on fire.)

The person _really _spying on Sarah in the shower was Tyler. He didn't mean to, he just saw a flat-chested blonde with tattoos and assumed it was Reid.

Wonder why Kate looked bitter when she mentioned "boys and their toys"? Well, you didn't hear this from me, but two months ago she walked in on Caleb, Pogue, and something that required AA batteries. Or it's just her face.

It's a well-known fact that when Reid and Aaron go into a dirty alley, sticks poking stuff into holes is involved.

When Caleb mentioned "exposing them all" Reid looked guilty. Wonder why? Just Google "Ipswich Boys Gone Wild."

The only reason why Sarah got in from Boston Public was because Provost Higgins made a bet with his friends that he could teach a common girl proper English.

It wouldn't matter if Caleb and Sarah were trapped together in a room full of unstable nitroglycerin. Their relationship gives off no sparks.

Shortly after saying, "It looks like she was bitten by hundreds of insects, like spiders," Kate's doctor was kidnapped by an entomologist and made to recite the differences between insects and arachnids if he wanted to live.

Actually when Tyler felt something the night everybody thought Reid was using…he actually felt Reid.

Chase _couldn't_ have spied on Sarah in the shower, because he was busy practicing his deep, scary voice in the mirror just for the showdown with Pogue.

Inspired by Pogue's injuries, Reid and Tyler decided to play hurt/comfort games in the hospital.

To his embarrassment, Chase was caught by "that kid from the Dells" when he was using a 'natural enhancement' spell.

Until Chase ruined everything, the Ipswich Boys were going to throw a 'Come As Your Favorite Disney Princess' themed Ascension party.

After Caleb told Sarah what was going on, his mom clubbed him with her crystal ashtray to keep her title as Exposition Fairy.

Shortly after Dane Cook became famous, Tyler sold his Hummer and replaced it with a CT-2000.

After their Ascension, Ipswich Boys lose all their bones and instead are made out of glowing energy balls.

Ha! Pre-Ascension, the Ipswich boys are slow hos fo sho, but after their 18th birthday, they turn into the Energizer bunny…they keep going and going and going. Not that anyone was doubting Pogue's stamina.

If using magic makes you old and weak, what happens when you cast a youth/endurance spell?

The only reason why The Book of Damnation got its named was because The Hardy Boys Handle Balls…of Energy was already taken.


	2. Assorted Colors and Flavors

Stories That Should Never Be: The Covenant

However if you want to write them, PM me and we'll talk. Seriously, I would love you forever. Also, I don't own the Covenant. Or the Ipswich Boys. Y'know, that would be a bitching name for a boy band.

Title: Pretty Hate Machine

Rating: As long as it's not in the 'K's, I don't care.

Pairing(s): Chase/Aaron, can have Ipswich Boys slash (as long as the pairings are Caleb/Pogue and Reid/Tyler)

Summary: Aaron Abbott finds Chase Collins bruised and bleeding in the woods.

Together, these bullies can either find revenge…or redemption.

Notes: MUST have ten chapters, each chapter must be based around on of the songs on 'Pretty Hate Machine' from Nine Inch Nails. Also, no dissing my musical taste.

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: Break Me Apart (Heroes crossover)

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Sarah/Peter (can have hints of Petrellicest, Sarah/Kate, and Kate/Claire)

Summary: When Sarah takes Kate to meet her relatives in Texas, Sarah immediately feels drawn to her adopted cousin's uncle, Peter Petrelli. However, when Sarah and

Peter encounter jealousy- on all sides they are forced to make decisions.

Notes: Yeah, I went there. Yes, I femslashed The Covenant. Get over it. Also, I would

love it if someone made the Petrelli family tree more tangled up by making

Gorman Nathan and Peter's dad. He didn't die, he just went upstate!

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: Candy Mountain, Caleb! (Charley the unicorn crossover)

Rating: M

Pairing(s): Caleb/Pogue, Reid/Tyler

Summary: On the night of his Ascension, Reid is already sick, when his powers hit, the pain makes him delirious and he transfers himself and his friends into Candyland. Fortunately, these two unicorns have told them that in the Candy Mountain Cave there is a passage that will take them home. Meanwhile, another unicorn named Charley keeps on following them and trying to scare them away. And what exactly is the Leopluridon saying?

Notes: Please write this, somebody! I beg of you! Also, when Reid is sick in the first chapter, Tyler can be taking care of him. Nurse costume optional.

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: I Wish We Were Driving a… Bitchin' Camaro (X-Men movie crossover)

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Caleb/Pogue, Reid/Tyler, Angel/Pyro, Iceman/Chase

Summary: Cough. Pardon me while I giggle. At the end to X3, instead of grabbing his dad like a good son, Warren lets him fall and flies away with the prettiest boy he's ever seen – John and flies until he passes out somewhere and is found by the Ipswich boys. Meanwhile, the X-Men find Chase and rehabilitate him

Notes: Y'know this could actually be a good story, if you ignore the retardedness. Also, if anyone gets the Dead Milkmen reference, I will love you forever. Also, Warren's dad must _splat_.

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: Safety Dance

Rating: K

Pairing(s): Chase Collins/Aaron Abbott (someone needs to help me out… the is kinda becoming my OTP)

Summary: It's musical time in Ipswich, y'all! Instead of being a dark lord, Chase wants to be dark lord…of the dance! It's up to the Ipswich Boys to help him out while Aaron shows the world that he can shake his tailfeathers.

Notes: Crack. Pure crack. Must have a happy ending. This will not be Moulin Rouge, people! Aaron in drag is recommended.

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: Spartans Do It in Leather Speedos. (300 crossover, sort of)

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Tyler/Reid, Pogue/Caleb

Summary: The boys watch 300 and make jokes about the nature of the relationship between Stelios and Astinos (Stelios had long blond hair and Astinos was the captain's son who got his head cut off)

Notes: What? Two movies with nothing but pretty boys and I'm not allowed to slash both of them? Well, too bad, I'm doing it anyway.

imagine a break line here. god, i hate ffn

Title: Alice through the Manhole (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crossover)

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Kate/Casey Jones, Kate/Pogue, Casey Jones/April O'Neil, Sarah/Caleb

Summary: When Sarah gets kidnapped by the Shredder as some human sacrifice, New York's Fab Four come to the rescue. Meanwhile, Kate, feeling neglected by Pogue again is instantly drawn to the Turtles' friend Casey Jones.

Notes: I honestly have no idea where this idea came from. However, the story must have bondage ( CRAP! Bond-ING! Bond-ING! That's what happens when I add "-age" to the end of words) between Gorman and Master Splinter.

For everyone who reviewed (RedRogue, Ellen Jacee, Google Girl11, Kuro Hatsu Amaya, kdawn7,GoblinJordy, skarletwithak, Nabierre, Kos-Mos607), this is for you:

Extra! The Spongebob Squarepants theme:

Who goes to a private school under the sea?

(Tyler Pi-ims!)

Blue-eyed and hummer-driving and cuddly is he!

(Tyler Pi-ims!)

If cute boys be something you want to see,

(Tyler Pi-ims!)

Then jump like a fangirl and give a great squee!

Tyler Pi-ims, Tyler Pi-ims,

Ty-ler Pi-iims!


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